Death looms so heavily over my head
my rusty, resistant knees buckle under the pressure
because there is nothing left in my power but to pray.
.
It’s been so long, I don’t think I even remember how to
but it’s all I can do to keep from feeling completely helpless
against the inevitable foe.
.
“If it’s unavoidable, at least make it quick and as painless as possible.”
.
“Oh, and fuck cancer.”
.
“Amen.”
HOURS AND HOURS AND HOURS ON TUMBLR.
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.
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WELCOME BACK, ME.
Not to be outdone by People’s annual ode to chiseled abs, The Onion nominated North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un this year’s “Sexiest Man Alive.” Unfortunately, not everyone was in on the spoof, namely China’s largest Communist Party newspaper, The People’s Daily, which not only took the bait but splashed a 55-page slideshow dedicated to the boyish leader across its homepage.
The People’s Daily quotes The Onion, saying:
With his devastatingly handsome, round face, his boyish charm, and his strong, sturdy frame, this Pyongyang-bred heartthrob is every woman’s dream come true. Blessed with an air of power that masks an unmistakable cute, cuddly side, Kim made this newspaper’s editorial board swoon with his impeccable fashion sense, chic short hairstyle, and, of course, that famous smile.
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!
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